Iona's Story
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| Iona |
Before
In August 2005 I’d been traveling around the south of France and when I got back friends from church came to me with the idea of going into The Convent, as they’d seen adverts for it and thought of me. I thought it an interesting idea but not very relevant to my life and where it was going . . .and as I’m a singer and very much wanted one day to get married, it didn’t seem right.
I went away on a Christian Week Away called Soul Survivor. While I was there I had a vision of God being my husband and God putting a question mark over the idea of me getting married one day . . in part this was amazing and beautiful but also I felt my heart somehow break. I knelt down by a river in the midday sun and DID A DAVID! I sat and sobbed and gave it to God. I shouted and sang and worshipped God and asked God to change my heart if this really was the plan! But God was put into his rightful place in my life: THE ABSOLUTE CENTRE.
With this new idea of CELIBACY I spoke to some people from my local church who advised me to speak to the Catholic Church as it has Nuns who might have some answers for me on HOW YOU DO THIS PRACTICALLY. So I went to the Documentary people and told them a little of my story. If it was right that I go then God would make it happen, in his amazing way. My other reasons for wanting to go were I imagined Nuns to be devoted in the way that I’m devoted to God and I suppose I wanted kindred Spirits in Christ. I was very scared of Nuns, but they had what I wanted in part, a completely surrendered life. I didn’t want to be a Nun as that is not my calling, but the Passion and Completeness I wanted. Amazingly, they let me in!
Iona - After
So much happened while I was in the Convent, my life had been enriched, but that enriching process had taken down my London Armour as it was so safe and disconcerting within those walls. In London I’m independent and really have to fight for myself in a pretty scary environment of the music industry and the London streets. I have no one but God to Protect and Defend me. So when I left I felt completely exposed. I saw my family which was really safe and beautiful; I saw my little brother, Hec, in Les Miserables, and I got half way through and just felt so naked and vulnerable that I had to find somewhere silent to have a bit of peace before the second half. It was like having been in Heaven then sent back out into a very rude, grubby little world. I had Culture Shock going in, but the Culture Shock on leaving was so much worse!
The love and friendship of the Nuns has meant so much to me since leaving. I hadn’t expected things in my life to change and the gift of silence which is naturally so alien to me, I now treasure and seek out. Today I am called to live “DEVOTED IN BODY AND SPIRIT TO GOD” which gives me no plan long term, but gives me the space just to be me with God, not waiting for a man to sweep me off my feet but not averse to the idea, if and when God chose.
The Nuns of the Poor Clares in Arundel have become my Sisters and a Blessing in my life I didn’t think I’d ever receive. But my life is getting wilder again and busyness can overtake me, but very occasionally I’ll go to Mass or follow the Office of Readings along with them, when I’m not racing around from meeting to studio on my bike. My time with them is irreplaceable and one of the painful but beautiful time of my life.
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